Everyone faces struggles in life, whether it’s dealing with grief, job loss, frustrating circumstances, financial stress, or just the everyday challenges of living. These issues may not meet the criteria for a clinical diagnosis of depression or anxiety, but they can still cause significant distress and impact your quality of life.
Counseling can help you learn how to manage these challenges effectively and develop skills to prevent them from turning into more serious mental health issues. Our articles offer practical tips and insights to help you navigate life’s ups and downs and build resilience in the face of adversity. Learn more about how counseling can help you manage life’s challenges and achieve greater well-being.
How to help I was talking to somebody the other day about the impact we make on other people by just being nice. We talked about how sometimes the smallest act of kindness can even prevent suicide. The person I was talking to asked, “What if that person actually didn’t want to die, but was […]
Why Do Teens Often Feel Resentful Toward Their Parents? As a teenager, it’s normal to feel irritated, annoyed, angry, or even resentful towards your parents. They can be overprotective, and suspicious and may not understand that you’re not a little kid anymore. However, if you feel like your emotions are a bit too intense, let’s […]
When someone cuts you off in traffic or a friend gets snappy with you, it’s easy to take it personally. However, it’s important to remember that it’s probably not about you. More often than not, people’s actions are a reflection of their own mindset and circumstances, not a commentary on your worth. For instance, the […]
Finances are not the number one reason for suffering . . . it’s an attachment to financial or material gain that is the root of suffering. Money is the number 1 reason for relationship stress (I cover an effective method for how to bank in a relationship further down). And even for people that are […]
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan Dealing with Failure: Tips for Turning Setbacks into Success We’ve […]
I know enough to know that I don’t yet know what I don’t know yet. I saw a post on Facebook the other day that showed the stages we go thru when learning in terms of how much actual knowledge we have: Huh? What is this? I know everything!! There’s more to this than I […]
In the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown frantically asks if anybody knows the true meaning of Christmas. The eternally sweet Linus, with his security blanket in tow, walks to center-stage of the school auditorium, drops his security blanket and confidently recites the Biblical account of the true meaning of Christmas. I do not […]
We’ve all heard the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” It suggests that we tend to focus on things that are not going well. While this can be good advice, it’s not always the best approach. Sometimes, we pay too much attention to the squeaks at the expense of everything else that is working […]
Dealing with Toxic People: How to Protect Yourself and Support Them Recently, there has been a lot of attention on how to recognize and minimize contact with toxic people. While it is important to take appropriate steps to protect yourself from such people, it is also helpful to know how to deal with or even […]
Dealing with Toxic People Dealing with toxic people can be a difficult task, but it’s important to remember that with the right knowledge and practice, you can protect yourself and avoid being pulled into their negative vortex. This article will provide you with some helpful tips on dealing with toxic people while maintaining a healthy […]
Practice Loving-Kindness with Random Acts of Kindness and Beauty Have you ever seen that bumper sticker that says “Practice random acts of kindness and beauty”? Well, that’s a Loving-Kindness practice! Another example is the idea of “paying it forward,” where you do something nice for somebody else when somebody does something nice for you. You […]
The Difference between Pain and Suffering When you stub your toe, you feel pain physically. Suffering, on the other hand, is the mental turmoil that arises when you judge the pain, the situation, or even yourself. For instance, when you blame a sidewalk for your clumsiness or call it stupid, you are only causing more […]
Understanding Extracted Rejection Extracted Rejection is a phenomenon where one perceives rejection after an event has taken place, even though the facts suggest otherwise. It is different from Anticipatory Rejection, which occurs before a situation even happens. Mindfulness-based counseling can help individuals learn not to take rejection personally and understand that it’s more about the […]
Anticipatory Rejection: What It Is and How to Overcome It Anticipatory rejection is a pattern of behavior where you reject yourself before others have the chance to accept or reject you. This self-defeating habit can prevent you from forming lasting connections with others. In contrast to extracting rejection, which happens after a situation has occurred, […]
The mind is a complex process involving urges, thoughts, and drives that lead to behaviors that are either encouraged or discouraged though either pleasant experience or unpleasant experience. To understand how this vastly oversimplified explanation leads us to be who we are. Let’s look at some of the basic processes involved. The mind: thoughts, behaviors, […]
Brain science (neuroscience) involves the physical structure of the brain, its biochemistry, and experiences that help shape it. A brain repeatedly subjected to trauma (physical or emotional/chemical) is more likely to suffer some difficulty. Some, but not all, of the major players of brain function are: Brain chemistry Neurotransmitters Neurotransmitters are chemicals in the brain […]
First, we should differentiate between plain old defensiveness and anticipatory defensiveness. They share a certain vibe of irritability and protectiveness, but they are certainly different, and seem to come from different places: One defending what is, the other defending what we think will be, but isn’t yet here (except in our minds where we’ve already […]
Compassion is often called the highest form of love. Pick any noble spiritual tradition and you’ll see compassion as a direct expression of love. Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, and so forth all teach compassion for all things and beings. It’s a beautiful teaching to practice. But somewhere along the way, we got our wires crossed with […]
Avoidance in teenagers can be infuriating, but try to remember that the impulse control center of the brain is not done developing until about age 25 (left medial pre-frontal cortex–behind your forehead, slightly to the left). What’s the first image that pops into your head when you think, “Ostrich?” It’s probably either an image of […]
Self-love leads you to health. It is a cornerstone of change. You are allowed to make things about yourself, particularly when looking to become more healthy. If you overlook yourself and focus exclusively on others, including how they perceive you, then you may miss some important nuggets of reality that could help you. You must […]
Murphy’s Law says, “What can go wrong, will go wrong . . .” . . . and at the worst possible time. Lovely, right? We’ve all had these days, where you get up, stub your toe, put on mismatched socks, forget your phone, run out of gas on the way to work, get yelled at […]
When we think of “confirmation bias” we typically think of politics. As voters, confirmation bias is when we hold a particular belief, then selectively look for evidence to support it; this is typically an unconscious process (i.e. we are not aware we are doing it). The problem with this is we miss evidence to the […]
Apologies: follow through builds trust, not just the words. In other words, apologies are hollow until they are filled with behavior change. I cannot tell you how many people express frustration with repeated apologies that are not followed up with consistent behavior change; not just short-term change, but consistent, long-term change. And it is a […]
Feel like you cannot get through to your kids? Like they just don’t listen? Are you fantasizing about sending your kids away? Are you tired of the power struggles? Are your efforts at discipline creating more stress and anger in your home? Would you like to have that nice balance between being a parent first, […]
Acknowledge, improvise, adapt, and overcome. The Marines’ slogan is “Improvise, adapt, and overcome.” I add “Acknowledge” because it is implied in improvisation; if you’re going to improvise, you must first recognize what it is you are improvising in response to. This is an exercise in mindfulness. Standing up in the face of adversity is a […]
