Extracting Rejection

Understanding Extracted Rejection

Extracted Rejection is a phenomenon where one perceives rejection after an event has taken place, even though the facts suggest otherwise. It is different from Anticipatory Rejection, which occurs before a situation even happens. Mindfulness-based counseling can help individuals learn not to take rejection personally and understand that it’s more about the other person’s preferences than their own worth.

To illustrate this point, let’s use a food analogy. Think of a food that you really dislike. Is there anything inherently wrong with the food, or is it simply a matter of personal taste? If there is something wrong with the food, then nobody would like it. Therefore, your dislike of a particular food is a reflection of your personal preferences, not the food itself.

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Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level-2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.