Therapy Blog

Choosing your reality

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This flower chose to let the asphalt be a perfectly good place to grow. Why? Because it worked. While I don’t suggest that we settle for simply setting for what works, I think the idea of doing your best with with the reality you are presented with is a good idea. This means using a Mindfulness based approach to your life. Accepting your reality as it is and leaving out the judgement so you can make calm, clear decisions. When you are clear and calm, Mindfulness based counseling says that you will be able to choose a better reality to move forward into.

Can we choose reality? Depends on what you call ‘reality.’ We cannot choose to have gravity not exist. We cannot choose for photosynthesis to not happen in a living plant. But we can choose how to behave, and even how/what to think (of course, some things feel very automated, usually driven from our unconscious mind). We can choose to be present in a moment of joy while sitting alone, or we can share that joy with other people; either way is fine. That you can choose your reality by choosing behaviors, is a very powerful realization. Behaviors are driven by thoughts, so by becoming mindful of thoughts, you can better choose your thoughts–including changing them when you need to. It takes practice though.

Cultivating a healthy reality

Ok, so how to do that? Meditation, breath-work, exercise, healthy lifestyle choices are all good places to start–but consistent practice of these is essential. You will notice that as you form the habits of healthy choices, that certain thought patterns usually precede them. Journal those thoughts so that you can remind yourself when you feel lazy.

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