Counseling and therapy are important parts of a healthy lifestyle. Just like we need to take care of our bodies to be physically healthy, we also need to take care of our minds to remain mentally healthy.
In the Counseling Austin category, you will find articles about creating and maintaining balanced mental health. Think of these as a list of How-to’s regarding a variety of concepts involved in leading a happy, successful life.
Emotions and physical pain
The best way I have heard the connection between the mind and body is that emotions are the physical manifestation of thoughts. For example, a person can have a stressful thought like, “I have to do my taxes,” and then the muscles in their back and shoulders become tense. The tension spreads up the neck, and around the head, creating a tension headache. The stressful thoughts are physically experienced as tension, typically in the back, shoulders, neck, ... Continue Reading →
Negativity blindness (also Complaint Blindness) is the inability for a person to see their own negativity or habit of complaining. People that are negativity blind will often blame others for their complaints. Toxic people are often blind to their own pessimism and complaining ways.
There is help for negativity blindness
If you recognize this in yourself, or more likely if you hear from other people that you tend to be angry, pessimistic or complaining a lot, please read on. There is ... Continue Reading →
First of all, it is important to understand that men are not “less emotional” than women; we are just inclined to keep those feelings to ourselves or express them differently. However, the feelings that we experience are influenced by our unique biochemistry and subtle brain structure differences. While men and women are far more alike than different, the differences can be confusing and unsettling, to say the least. One of these differences involves how we deal with conflict management and ... Continue Reading →
We’ve all had a friend come to us for support where we weren’t exactly sure what to say or do. We could tell they are hurting, but we just didn’t know how to fix it. Sometimes we do know just what to do or say to help, but for those times that we don’t, here are a few suggestions and things to consider:
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- Remember, very often, our friends are not looking for us to ‘fix’ anything. . . they are just ...
There are plenty of things that people want to keep secret. Eating that last piece of pizza, wearing those jeans 2 days in a row, wearing those jeans 3 days in a row. . . Those are pretty straightforward secrets that people try to keep to themselves.
Then there are the difficult truths. The dark underbelly of who we are . . . the Darth Vader in all of us. Sure, we all want to be Luke Skywalker or Leia Organa, ... Continue Reading →
When I was in those awkward teenage years, I was always worrying about this or that. I’d anticipate rejection then become defensive about it before it even happened! My mom called it “Borrowing Trouble.”
Sometimes, as a way to unconsciously protect ourselves from potential hurt, people can create trouble where there is none; the idea being that at an unconscious level, if we can anticipate pain, then we can better control it.
Learning to use mindfulness as a way ... Continue Reading →
I have written a handful of articles about how people can extract rejection through a thought process that assumes rejection where there may be none. Rejection can also be anticipated before the situation even occurs. But rejection is not the only thing that can be extracted or anticipated. Defensiveness, grief, and failure are other experiences that can be created by the mind itself in an attempt to control the pain.
Generally speaking, a pessimistic outlook involves a ... Continue Reading →
Mindfulness is becoming more and more familiar to people around the world. A mindfulness practice is a great way to improve your outlook and quality of life, but there can be a dark side that sometimes needs to be demystified so people don’t get tripped up by it.
Remember, mindfulness is simply being aware of reality as-is without adding judgments or assumptions. This means noticing the wonderful times like when we feel happy, content, loving, excited, etc. But it also means ... Continue Reading →
Did you know that most New Year’s resolutions go unfulfilled after a few weeks? That’s because it’s just a resolution, not a lifestyle change. It is fine to start with a resolution, but leaving it there is like saying, “I’ll get it done tomorrow.” It is not active, it’s a passive comment, not a “doing” of much of anything in the here-and-now. Sure, you may do it for a few weeks as a “resolution,” but that’s not a commitment for ... Continue Reading →
The new year is a great time to try new things. Like silence.
Every year, for one month, and I’m not suggesting you do an entire month (although it is interesting), I turn off the radio in my car. No music, no talk radio, nothing. Just the sounds around me. I always forget how enjoyable it is. Sure, there are horns, screeching tires, sirens and people yelling from time to time, but it’s different from the usual.
You’ll probably notice that you ... Continue Reading →
The difference is how you identify yourself.
When you feel stress, it moves through you without getting stuck; it informs you of your circumstances (bills piling up, a sick kiddo on a day that you have a deadline at work, etc.). You are able to leverage it to provide you energy to focus and perform at a higher level, then it dissipates.
When you are stressed (i.e. being stressed), you have taken on the identity of stress itself, which makes it far ... Continue Reading →
In the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown frantically asks if anybody knows the true meaning of Christmas. The eternally sweet Linus, with his security blanket in tow, walks to center-stage of the school auditorium, drops his security blanket and confidently recites the Biblical account of the true meaning of Christmas.
I do not believe that Linus’ dropping of his security blanket is accidental. I believe that it is symbolic of how we don’t need comfort objects/behaviors, like a security ... Continue Reading →
There was this dragonfly, but he wasn’t a dragonfly just yet. He was just a larva . . . but he knew that he was a dragonfly. So here we are, a non-dragonfly dragonfly realizing his about-to-be-“a dragonfly”-ness.
So our friend, the larva, who knows he’s a dragonfly waiting to happen, is floating around in a large pond. It has a shallow pier on a shallow end on the pond. Lots of growth around that pier. The larva-fly finds some protection ... Continue Reading →
Think of a time when you made a good decision that changed your day, your week, even your life. How did you know it was the right decision to go with? Chances are, even if there was contemplation involved, something just clicked. You intuitively knew it was a good thing. You were likely using the Wise-mind, a balanced combination of both the Thinking and Feeling minds.
A consistent mindfulness practice rewires your brain to look for these powerful decisions, ... Continue Reading →
I have had people come in feeling guilty because of feeling relief after a loved one dies from a painful illness, or after having to put a loved one into a care facility. I explain that a sense of relief is perfectly normal and acceptable and that it does not mean that they didn’t love the person, or that they are glad that they are gone. This is always met with immediate relief.
Recently, I had a client come in with ... Continue Reading →