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Man rubbing his neck, sore from stress

Discomfort

Discomfort wants you to feel better. But when it comes to not getting things done, we can be extremely creative about feeling good about it. Does this sound familiar, “To be at my most productive, I need some down time, so I’ll just sleep in. . .”?

When you are living life out-of-balance, your mind and/or body begins to tell you with discomfort of one type or another (sickness, soreness, panic attacks, anxiety, etc). Remember, if you ignore an imbalance, you are more likely to experience further discomfort; and that discomfort is more likely to become even more pronounced, more obnoxious, more overwhelming—even going from mental to physical.  If you deny it or ignore it, or notice it but act/think in old ways anyway, it will continue to bug you until you change what you need to change.

Masking the symptoms doesn’t work for long

Sometimes people will make their goal one of minimizing just the discomfort without changing the behaviors and thoughts behind it. Usually through some sort of addictive behavior this ‘relief’ is not long lasting; and the discomfort comes back stronger.

When you address the thoughts (and their resulting behaviors), you address the source of the discomfort more directly. Whether a person first addresses thoughts or behaviors, or sees them as interrelated, will depend on the individual and their unique wiring and experience of life. If you are unsure where is best for you to start, talk to a counselor, teacher, mentor, etc.

Leveraging Discomfort

I have seen highly respected teachers like Eckart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, and Ram Dass. comment on how Fear, Anger and other “negative” emotions block us from joy. I know what they are pointing at, but I believe that it can be easy to miss what I believe they are pointing at: That these emotional experiences are there to serve a purpose. That we need to be mindful of these “negative” states in order to leverage them for our growth towards happiness. In other words, there are 2 versions of all emotions: Asleep (unhealthy) and Awake (healthy). When awake, they function as simply as warning lights that motivate us to become more balanced, and thereby eliminate the need for the warning.

Let’s take Fear for example. Asleep fear paralyses us and we feel scattered, confused, and panicked; whereas Awake fear helps us to pay attention (ie be mindful) of our circumstances so that we can protect ourselves from whatever the perceived threat is. Fear is an amazing teacher!  People say that if you ask a soldier if they are scared when going into combat, they will reply “Of course! If you are don’t have fear, then you are either not paying enough attention, or you are lying, or you not quite wired right.” Now I don’t like the idea of asking soldiers to get into their combat experiences, so lets just agree that this makes sense. In terms of survival, fear is necessary. Our physical response is that our senses become more sensitive, blood rushes to where we need it (so we can see, hear, feel etc. better, and so that we can fight, flee or freeze more effectively); the discomfort is motivating us to take care of whatever the threat is.  The biological system responsible for this is called the parasympathetic nervous system. Fight or Flight (or Freeze). Etc.

People who have panic attacks are experiencing the Fight or Flight (or Freeze) mechanism in the absence of a life threatening situation (they feel like a tiger is chasing them, but there’s no tiger).