Therapy Blog

The Secret Nobody Wants to Admit

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There are plenty of things that people want to keep secret. Eating that last piece of pizza, wearing those jeans 2 days in a row, wearing those jeans 3 days in a row. . . Those are pretty straightforward secrets that people try to keep to themselves.

Then there are the difficult truths. The dark underbelly of who we are . . . the Darth Vader in all of us. Sure, we all want to be Luke Skywalker or Leia Organa, but we all think Vader is pretty cool.  And we all have a little of Mr. or Mrs. Vader in us, too. And it’s ok, even helpful. Thankfully, dark thoughts are just that: thoughts. Starting counseling helps you see them for what they are, and make choices to act on healthier thoughts. Your dark thoughts teach you what not to do.

You see, if we cannot identify with our own darkness, how can we hope to keep it in check? If we don’t know how to recognize it, how can we see it coming at us from others? We have to know it to see it in ourselves and in others. So, if you haven’t done so already, begin a mindfulness practice. Take note of your inner Luke, your radiating Leia, even your furry Chewy. But if you notice a bit of Vader dropping by, simply take note, return to your breath and place your primary focus on your inner Yoda.

Eckhart Tolle has a wonderful quote in his book Stillness Speaks that says,”The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not your thoughts.” And this is absolutely true. Your thoughts emanate from who you are, but they do not define you. And that includes those dark thoughts.

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