Begin personal change with mindfulness, then use a disciplined approach to follow through with the application of behaviors and thoughts that bring you closer to the results you want.Continue Reading →
Flow Theory is an integral part of Positive Psychology. It refers to a zone where you lose track of time, experience yourself on “auto-pilot,” etc. We’ve all been there, and we can recreate it!
When you’re “in the zone,” or “feeling the groove,” or just “flowing,” you are in a state of balance between traits like skill and challenge. When these traits are balanced, you feel like you’re on autopilot, though fully present with what you are doing. You may even ...Continue Reading →
Ever see a divorced couple that seems to get along great and wonder how they do it? It’s effective Co-Parenting. There are skills that can be learned to cultivate a friendly co-parenting experience that benefits everybody, especially the kids! It can be tough in the beginning, but this is normal. Learn more about how to create a friendly vibe between you and your ex-.
Acknowledge, improvise, adapt, and overcome. The Marines’ slogan is “Improvise, adapt, and overcome.” I add”Acknowledge” because it is implied in improvisation; if you’re going to improvise, you must first recognize what it is you are improvising in response to. This is an exercise in mindfulness.
Standing up in the face of adversity is a skill set that can be learned. There can be so many distractions though; don’t ignore them. Manage them. Leverage them.
To acknowledge your circumstances ...Continue Reading →
We all hear about “Bad Habits” like smoking etc. What about “Good Habits?” Do those exist? Yes! Exercise, eating healthy, practicing meditation, just to name a few. But since the squeaky wheel gets the grease, we should look into how to move beyond those ‘bad’ habits.
The ones that are not healthy need to be replaced with either new healthier habits, or healthier versions of the habit itself. For example, if you are ...Continue Reading →
This flower chose to let the asphalt be a perfectly good place to grow. Why? Because it worked. While I don’t suggest that we settle for simply setting for what works, I think the idea of doing your best with with the reality you are presented with is a good idea. This means using a Mindfulness based approach to your life. Accepting your reality as it is and leaving out the judgement so you can make calm, clear decisions. ...Continue Reading →
Change is often a wise investment that pays off in decreased suffering.
If you’ve read this far, then you have already experienced that change can be difficult. Not impossible, but often more difficult than we’d like it be, or than we’d expect it to be. Here’s some how to deal with some of the speed bumps. . .
Let’s say that you have correctly recognized that in order to be more healthy and balanced, you need to make some sort of lifestyle, ...Continue Reading →
It’s when you wait until later to get something done that you know would be more useful to finish up in the now. We are more likely to do this when we are not ...Continue Reading →
Practice matters a great deal when we talk about mastery of anything. The more you practice, the more proficient you become . . . this is true of skills like playing music, and personality traits like optimism and courage! Of course, a mindfulness practice is a central component of success in any type of practice.
For most folks, really living life will involve some sort of ‘practice.’ I’m not just talking about the repeat-the-behavior-over-and-over type of practice where you get ...Continue Reading →
Fear and Confusion are amazing teachers. In the picture above, you can see that the eyes are opened wide, teeth are showing, and arms are extended to protect from a perceived threat. This is the classic “flinch response.”
We’ve been duped! We’ve been taught that fear and confusion are bad things to be avoided. I believe that all discomfort is just providing motivation to do something to return you back to a state of balance.
It is a survival instinct. It ...Continue Reading →
Gratitude and optimism are related in that each requires the seed of the other. Even when you are suffering, if you can find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for, you are more likely to see opportunities to make things better.
Gratitude is sometimes called “Counting your blessings.” My mom used to say that when I was bummed out, but I never quite understood it. Now that I do, it seems so simple!
To live with gratitude takes ...Continue Reading →
Non-Attachment: Want without wanting. If you are not attached to anything being this way or that, then it is difficult to suffer. This idea is so simple that it can be hard to understand. Practicing non attachment is a practice in letting go of judgement.
Giving ourselves permission to want things/circumstances seems to fly in the face of non attachment; attachment being the source of suffering in many spiritual/philosophical perspectives.
So how do we ‘want’ something without being attached to it (attached ...Continue Reading →
Optimism is not magical thinking.
There is no “secret” to success. No magical radio waves emanating to the universe that attracts success to you. It’s optimism. That simple.
Optimism . . . a trait that can be difficult to find when we are down and out. With practice, however, it can be found when we suffer. Finding optimism during suffering does not mean we become happy all of a sudden; instead, it means that we are able to see options ...Continue Reading →
Sometimes we see self-awareness as only being aware of our existence. It’s equally important to understand how neuroscience and genetics also impact how we are aware of our ‘selves.’
Self Awareness is more than a result of meditation and introspection; knowing ...Continue Reading →
Depression has been described as a dark cloud that just doesn’t go away. It ...Continue Reading →