Understanding and Recognizing Neurodivergence

When a family member or friend shares that they are neurodivergent—whether they have ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD, formerly Asperger’s Syndrome), or both (or any form of neurodivergence for that matter)—it’s important to take their experience seriously. Dismissing or minimizing their disclosure can make them feel invalidated, misunderstood, or even regretful for opening up. One simple yet meaningful way to show support is by reading the short articles, guides, or resources they share. These materials are often chosen because they reflect their lived experience and help explain challenges that may not be immediately obvious. When loved ones take the time to learn, it reassures the neurodivergent person that their experiences matter and that they are not alone. On the other hand, repeatedly ignoring these efforts can create emotional distance, making them feel unheard and unsupported. Understanding doesn’t require perfection—it just requires effort.

If you have a family, friend or coworker who has informed you that they may be neurodivergent (they may have mentioned a specific reference like ADHD, ASD, or both), please consider reading this entire post. Do not hesitate to reach out to learn more about how to offer them support.

What is Neurodivergence?

Neurodivergence is a term used to describe natural variations in the human brain that lead to differences in thinking, learning, and behavior. While all brains are unique, neurodivergent individuals process the world in ways that can diverge significantly from the neurotypical population. Common forms of neurodivergence include Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Recognizing Neurodivergence: ADHD and Autism

ADHD: More Than Just Attention Issues

ADHD is often misunderstood as simply a lack of focus, but it’s actually a complex condition involving executive function challenges. Symptoms can range from difficulty with organization to hyperfocus on specific interests.

• Mild ADHD: Occasional forgetfulness, trouble prioritizing tasks, or needing more structure.
• Moderate ADHD: Struggles with time management, impulsivity, and maintaining relationships.
• Severe ADHD: Significant difficulties in work or school, chronic disorganization, and emotional regulation struggles.

In real life, ADHD might look like your friend who’s always late, not because they don’t care, but because their brain loses track of time. It’s the coworker who has brilliant ideas but can never seem to finish projects on time. It’s the loved one who starts ten hobbies enthusiastically but struggles to maintain them. They might talk a mile a minute when they’re excited but forget what you said five minutes ago because their brain jumped ahead to the next thought. It’s frustrating at times, but their energy and creativity can be magnetic.

Autism: A Spectrum of Strengths and Challenges

Autism is a spectrum (Autism Spectrum Disorder, or ASD), meaning individuals experience it in vastly different ways. It affects social interaction, sensory processing, and communication.

• Mild ASD: Social awkwardness, need for routine, and difficulty with small talk.
• Moderate ASD: More pronounced sensory sensitivities, struggles with nonverbal communication, and strong special interests.
• Severe ASD: Limited verbal communication, high sensory sensitivity, and a strong need for structured environments.

Autism in daily life may look like a friend who rarely makes eye contact but remembers every detail of your last conversation. It’s the sibling who gets overwhelmed in loud, chaotic places but finds immense joy in their niche hobby. It’s the coworker who struggles with small talk but has an incredible ability to focus on complex problems for hours. Maybe you know someone who avoids social gatherings, not because they dislike people, but because navigating social cues feels like decoding a foreign language. These individuals aren’t distant or cold—they’re just processing the world differently.

Leveraging the Gifts of Neurodivergence

While neurodivergence presents challenges, it also brings unique strengths:

• ADHD: Creativity, quick problem-solving, and high energy when engaged in a passion.
• ASD: Deep focus, exceptional pattern recognition, and innovative thinking.

Understanding and embracing these strengths can help neurodivergent individuals thrive in their careers, relationships, and personal growth.

Supporting Neurodivergent Individuals

Many neurodivergent individuals are part of your peer group—friends, coworkers, or family members. Key ways to offer support include:

• Patience: Understand that their brain functions differently, not incorrectly.
• Clear Communication: Avoid sarcasm or vague instructions; be direct and kind.
• Flexibility: Adapt to their needs rather than forcing conformity.
• Encouragement: Focus on strengths rather than perceived deficits.

Compassionate support fosters confidence and success for neurodivergent individuals in all areas of life.