Therapy Blog

Healthy Selfishness

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How can selfishness be healthy? I typically get peoples’ attention with this kind of question. It’s one of those paradoxes that makes perfect sense when you consider it for a moment. Take a minute and see if you can see how selfishness can be a very healthy, and even kind thing to practice.

Benevolent selfishness – When putting yourself first helps loved ones

Long story short, you have to take care of yourself if you want to care for others. In most jobs, if you don’t take care of yourself, you are not working up to par. When it comes to caring for those you love, this can have more meaningful consequences. By going and getting that massage before taking care of grandma, you are putting yourself in a more relaxed frame of mind where you’ll be far more comforting for her.

So, go get that massage! Let yourself say no when you need to, even when you want to! There is a difference between avoidant/unhealthy selfishness and benevolent/healthy selfishness. Self-care and self-love are NOT the unhealthy kinds of selfishness!

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