Extracting Rejection
Personal developmentExtracted Rejection is a phenomenon where one perceives rejection after an event has taken place, even though the facts suggest otherwise. It is different from Anticipatory Rejection, which occurs before a situation even happens. Mindfulness-based…
Anticipatory Rejection
Personal developmentAnticipatory rejection is a pattern of behavior where you reject yourself before others have the chance to accept or reject you. This self-defeating habit can prevent you from forming lasting connections with others. In contrast to extracting…
Basics of the Mind
Personal developmentThe mind is a complex process involving urges, thoughts, and drives that lead to behaviors that are either encouraged or discouraged though either pleasant experience or unpleasant experience. To understand how this vastly oversimplified explanation…
Brain Science
Personal developmentBrain science (neuroscience) involves the physical structure of the brain, its biochemistry, and experiences that help shape it. A brain repeatedly subjected to trauma (physical or emotional/chemical) is more likely to suffer some difficulty.…
Anticipatory Defensiveness
Personal developmentFirst, we should differentiate between plain old defensiveness and anticipatory defensiveness. They share a certain vibe of irritability and protectiveness, but they are certainly different, and seem to come from different places: One defending…
Grieving an unfair loss
Depression, Personal developmentBalancing the anger and sadness of an unfair loss can feel impossible, especially in the beginning. First, breathe and understand that this will pass even though it does not feel like it. Before going any further, if you are unsure, please get…
Emotional Confirmation Bias
Personal developmentWhen we think of "confirmation bias" we typically think of politics. As voters, confirmation bias is when we hold a particular belief, then selectively look for evidence to support it; this is typically an unconscious process (i.e. we are not…
Mindfulness and the Wise Mind
Mindfulness, Personal developmentIn dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), there is a wonderful explanation of how the best of our thinking and feeling minds can be accessed. This "Wise Mind" is based on the idea that the thinking brain and feeling brain both have validity and…
Procrastination
Personal developmentWhen it comes to not getting things done, we can be extremely creative about feeling good about it. Does this sound familiar, "To be at my most productive, I need some down time." Or, "Sleep is really important, so I'll just sleep in today .…