Gate Healing Mental Health Blog
Communication Killers: Defensiveness
Couples and Marriage CounselingWhen a person becomes defensive they typically appear to be at least mildly angry or frustrated as they deflect responsibility away from themselves.
Communication Killers: Contempt
Couples and Marriage CounselingAt its root, contempt is the communication of utter disrespect; a rejection of another person's worth. To fully understand how toxic contempt is, consider that it is actually worse than hatred. It is about that utter disrespect. […]
Communication Killers: Stonewalling
Couples and Marriage CounselingStonewalling looks like a refusal or inability to participate in a conflict discussion. When it is a refusal, then a person may have a look of contempt or annoyance while they look away with closed body language [...]
Communication Killers: Belligerence
Couples and Marriage CounselingDuring a conflict, the belligerent person will seem to be looking for a fight. They will appear provocative or combative because they are expressing anger in an aggressive manner. […]
Communication Killers: Blame
Couples and Marriage CounselingBlame often takes the form of score-keeping where one person says, "Well I wouldn't have yelled at you had you paid better attention and not dinged the car door!" It can also take the form of overt assigning of fault: "This is your fault because you are never careful enough." […]
Enhancing Relationships: The power of being listenable
Couples and Marriage CounselingBeing listenable helps you be heard
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and mastering the art of speaking in a way that is easy for others to hear is particularly crucial in potentially difficult conversations…
Living “What is” instead of “What if”
Stress ManagementHow often do you find yourself looking back and asking things like:
What if I had stuck with playing the guitar?
What if I hadn't dropped out of baseball?
What if I had shown up to that marketing event?
There are a million ways…
Linus Drops his Blanket
Personal developmentIn the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown frantically asks if anybody knows the true meaning of Christmas. The eternally sweet Linus, with his security blanket in tow, walks to center stage of the school auditorium, drops his security…
The Calming Breath
Stress ManagementParasympathetic Nervous System: Rest & Digest
Stress and anxiety trigger the 'fight-or-flight response' in our bodies, a survival mechanism controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. This response is designed to help us face danger for…
Fear is not Predictive
AnxietyWhen we are run down, tired, stressed, burnt out, etc. we tend to think that our worst fears are absolutely coming true. How many of us have gone into a meeting with a boss certain that we were about to get fired? That fear, however, was just…
Dealing with Toxic People
Personal developmentDealing with Toxic People: How to Protect Yourself and Support Them
Recently, there has been a lot of attention on how to recognize and minimize contact with toxic people. While it is important to take appropriate steps to protect yourself…
Understanding Toxic People
Personal developmentDealing with Toxic People
Dealing with toxic people can be a difficult task, but it's important to remember that with the right knowledge and practice, you can protect yourself and avoid being pulled into their negative vortex. This article…
Mindfulness and honesty
Mindfulness, Personal developmentTo completely experience the here-and-now, truthful mindfulness is required
Mindfulness and honesty are intricately intertwined as you must be completely honest with yourself about what is going on at any given moment. Genuine honesty first…
Mindfulness, Discipline, Application
Mindfulness, Personal developmentBegin personal change with mindfulness, discipline, and action
Mindfulness
Personal change is a process that requires a conscious effort to shift one's behavior and thoughts in a new direction. This process can be initiated by mindfulness,…
Mindfulness: Understanding and Knowing
Mindfulness, Personal developmentPracticing Mindfulness: Balancing Intellectual Understanding and Experiential Knowing
When it comes to practicing mindfulness, it's important to recognize the value of both intellectual understanding and experiential knowing. Intellectual understanding…